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October 2009
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Feather [userpic]
What is it with people?!?

A guy moved in next to me a few weeks ago. It depends, but usually I don't spend a lot of time meeting the neighbors. RV parks have a very fluid community-- most people pull in for a day or two and move on. I'm not in an RV park this time, but a trailer park with a few RV sites, but I still don't really know the neighbors at all. Well, a few days after he got here I heard a really loud alarm going off-- something like a smoke detector. I looked out my window and saw that he had the door opened, and was down on the ground messing with his propane detector. I opened my window and said, "Do I need to grab my fire extinguisher and come save you?" All said with a grin. He looked at me with chagrin, and said no, that his propane detector had been malfunctioning since he got the trailer, and he was going to disconnect it (bad idea), and hoped it wasn't disturbing me too much.

Later that evening he knocked on my door and thanked me for offering to save him. *g* He said he had some steaks on the grill, and invited me to dinner. He's cute! Nice build, clean cut, nice smile, so I said yes. I didn't stay long, but had a nice time. He's separated from his wife of 19 years, has two teenage boys, works construction. . . It was *nice*. I had mentioned that I needed to get a new battery for the RV, cuz mine was dead, and after dinner he helped me get the damned thing out, because I simply didn't have the strength to lift it out of its cradle.

Well, yesterday he was outside grilling dinner, and I was inside watching TV with the windows opened. He shouted up, asking if I was having a good weekend. I got up and leaned out the window so we could chat. I mentioned that I was going to see Harry Potter the next day, and invited him to come along. He started in about how he was really religious, and couldn't condone witchcraft, and didn't approve. He then said that he'd noticed that I'd been out late the night before and asked if I had gone out partying. DING DING DING! Alarms! I don't feel the need to get his permission for *anything*, let alone clear my itinerary with him. So, I'm trying to figure out a polite way to end the conversation. After about one minute he said that his wife and kids were coming next weekend, and asked me not to tell her that we'd had dinner, and not to mention that he'd had a beer, because "she wouldn't understand."

I'm stunned, to say the least.

He wants me to *lie* for him.

But he's really religious and I'm obviously a heathen. ::facepalm::

Current Mood: Gobsmacked

you know, i hear that in harry potter books they drink this thing called "butterbeer." further proof that they are heathens? certainly seems like the wife would think so...

::rolls eyes::

Yes, of course! Butterbeer! And all that nonsense about good vs evil and stuff.

And they don't mention Jesus even once!

They, and I, are apparently all going to hell. LOL!

Whoa, fruitcake alert!

Now tell him about the slash angle and watch the top of his head explode...


I thought about leaving my Pooh icon up where he could see it. That ought to do it. *g*

OH! Tell O that I had a terrible case of penis gadget envy, and finally, after staring at it for at least a half an hour, waffling, pushed the 'buy' button. *g*

It should be here the end of the week! *bounces*

In other news, I tried to start the RV today with the new battery, and no luck. I'm going to have to either have it towed or get a mechanic out here. :( I'm not going to worry about it until after vacation, though. :D

You could always say that you're too busy to go out partying, since most nights you're having an internet gang-bang with the four people you went away with at Easter. If that's not enough, well, I'm sure you could go into detail...


I thought of the cybersex angle too! ::waggles finger between:: Great minds, yadda. *g*

I think the next time he comes over, I'll invite him in for five minutes, then look him in the eye and tell him he has to go cuz I've got an internet date. Let him make of that what he will. :)

Or just ask him if he'd mind looking after the phones on your phone sex line while you pop out to buy 'something special'.


I can buy some of those chains! :D

But, that kind of thing always has a way of backfiring. ::nods:: I'd plan to squick him out, and instead, see a glint of interest. *g*

:-)mmm... chains!

Well, if he's anti- paganism and witchcraft, I'm sure your Dirty Druid does Winsome Wood Nymph would do the trick...


Did you point that out to him? *g*

I swear, the biggest hypocrites are the ones who make the most noise about their religion. ::rolls eyes::

No, I didn't, dammit. I was too stunned!

I thin I'll change my wallpaper to something obviously slashy, though-- maybe something from Reedfem's site. Maybe that'll compel him to stay away? Of course, I could just tell him to get lost, but I'm way to polite. :(

Of course, I could just tell him to get lost, but I'm way to polite

Yeah, it's more fun to have him see slashy porny naked men on your computer. Mess with his head!

Messing with his head might be fun! Especially since there is no way in hell I'll be messing with any other part of him. *g*

Did you ever get round to sticking the lube up with velcro? Maybe you should invest in some now and then invite him and his wife round?


OOOOO! Now there's a thought! I can see it now.

"Umm, what's that?"

"Oh, that's lube. I velcro it up so the animals can't get it."

"Why in the world do you do that?"

"Well, there's this story. . ."